Remember to Never Forget...

I never thought my life would come to this.

Writing hasn't just stopped momentarally, or gone through a tunnel vision, it's gone. I can't write anymore. Nothing.

And I don't care.

Back when I started dating Andy, it was hard to write a novel and focus on him. As the relationship progressed, it got harder and harder. I realized that I couldn't hold both. I could write about love and create this awesome story for millions to read, or I could live one. I loved writing, it was my passion, my key to life. It let me dream and cook up wonderful scenarios. When all was wrong, I could go to an alternate universe and deal with someone else's problems for a little while. It was easier that way. Writing was me. I was a writer.

But did I want that, or the joy of love personified?

As I realized what was happening, it's like someone had told me that we weren't having roast beef tonight. Who cared? I didn't. It was a simple question, with a simple answer. Let one go. So I did.

And I don't regret my desicion at all. Being a writer let me dream, and Andy is the dream. I'm loving living, and I'm glad he's in my life. There will be plenty of times that I can try to write. But for now, I'm content just to be with Andy. It's time for a long break, a time to start my own chapter in life, a time to let go and be me, not write for a little-no, long time.

I'll keep you posted.

Make New Friends and Keep the Old...

My friends. Truly incredible people. I don't know where I would be without them. And latley, they've been there for me in ways I couldn't possibly imagine. So, here's to them. All of my friends.
Colton- Ahhh...Colton. Colton is not only a friend, he's a brother in Christ. He's always there for a good conversation, like when I called him bawling last night. He stayed up an extra long time just to pray for me, console me, and make sure I was ok. I truly couldn't thank him enough for that. And yet, he's one of the funnest people you'll ever meet. Many an awesome memory has been made with Colton by my side.
Suzanna- One of my best friends since age 2. Literally. Suzanna is one of the biggest dorks, so much fun. But she has her own opinion and doesn't conform. She's a sister in Christ, and someone to talk to about anything and everything. She's always going to find something to laugh with you about. I love this girl, I really do!

James- James is awesome. I love this kid! He's shown me how a true friend can really treat you. While we have yet to meet in person, we will one day. He's an angel in disguise, I'm sure of it.
Victoria- A new friend I've made this year, but one I'll keep for life. Victoria is my "older sister." She has so much knowledge, and wisdom, and love for everyone. Victoria tries to start the day with a smile, and usually succeeds. She's there for a hug and to be silly, but she really loves to dig deep and find out everything about a person. She looks to connect. That is a quality I have always admired about her and always will.

Merissa- Ahhh, my midgit. I love this girly! What fun we've had over the years, and how many people have thought we were sisters? Just because we are gingers!

Andy- My wonderful boyfriend. The man I love deeply and unconditionally, the one who will be there with me thick, thin, normal, sad, happy, weird, you get the picture. He's an incredible person with a wonderful attitude. He gives himself 1100 percent at everything. He's my role model. He's so much fun, and yet I can talk to him about absolutley everything. Love you!

Rosie and Abby- Ahhh! My silliest friends. So dorky and fun to be around. Many acro trips have been MADE by Rosie and Abby, my wonderful friends! Love you! Nothing but fun is the way these girls and I hang out, and we like it that way. Smiles and laughter are what brings us together, which explains why we're so close :)

Preston- Preston isn't like a brother to me, he's more of a...son. ;) But he's the greatest person to have fun with but the most wonderful to get a discussion of depth and meaning if you really need it. He understands so much, and yet wants to understand more. I really have so much to learn from him. I really do.

Chloe- Ah, my Chloe. Starting as friends in French class and going to such deep stuff and fun stuff, Chloe is amazing. She's a rocker, who loves music and wants to know those who make the beautiful music. And she's a talent show winner! Whether you're laughing so hard you're crying or you're crying so hard you're crying, you're always having an awesome time with Chloe. By the way Chloe, THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

Randi- Randi's my go-to girl. Everything I could possibly need she's there. Whether I'm mad at Andy or mad at someone or heard the funniest story that isn't really funny, she listens and knows the right stuff to say. Who else could have a slap fight in the middle of a book talk or scare the crap out of the awkward kid in english class while yelling in Shakespearean? And if there's ever a problem, my Randi will wait with the ice cream and Disney flicks to heal it all :)

LAURA- Laura....Laura's very...Laura-ish. Laura loves cows, and shows them. And she's hilarious. Many a quote has been made through her wise words. Laura is good for hugs and for laughs and for making friends with my cousin's dog and bringing him to dances. I'm really upset that I didn't add her in before, because I LOVE her and she shouldn't be left out! Laura, here's to not talking in pig-latin :)

SIDELINES- My sidelines friends! I don't talk to you guys very often, but when I do it's a great treat. I love hearing how all of my HN friends are :) You guys have helped me through some tough stuff, and now I still see you as awesome people. You all rock!

IMPACT- All of my siblings in Christ. I've grown up with most of you, and it's been a tremendous honor. The connection we share goes beyond friendship, it's family. Abby, Allie, Nathan, Keegan, those are just a few. And Donald, if you somehow read this. I do thank you. Even though you don't come to church anymore, I owe you a lot. You showed me what love isn't, and where and how to find it and let it grow. I may not have ended up with Andy had it not been for you, and I appreciate that a lot.

To all my wonderful friends, this for you. I wouldn't be the person I am today without you all by my side. I LOVE YOU ALL! AND I'M SO THANKFUL TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE!

Beffy ♥

What a Day....

Exhaustion sucks.

I was up late last night, for reasons I'm not going to get into. That would have to turn this thing into two blogs. But in turn, that made me sooo tired getting up for school this morning. I learned how weird being exhausted can be. This is what I did all day.

1.) I fired a chair.
Yes you heard me. In our band room, there are many chairs obviously. With a concert band of 70 people, lots of chairs are neccessary. I ran into one accidently. Being cranky as I was, I looked at it and said "You. You are worthless as a chair. You're fired from this section." And I made the chair go to the saxophone section as I found a replacement.

2.) I fell asleep in gym class.
Yes, yes. I found out how exactly to do that. While the guys weighed in today and tested their body fat, the girls had to wait. So, I curled up on the floor and took a small nap.

3.) I gave a paint design a funeral.
When I walked into my english class today, somebody had taken fabric paint and drawn a cute little snowflake on it. My friend Randi started to scrape it. I told her not to. She did anyway. I made her come over to the trashcan and give the little snowflake a proper funeral with me.

4.) I convinced myself our school had a goat.
I did. I really did.

I need a nap....